Lifestyle couple training together

Published on January 31st, 2014 | by Joe Starks

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Help: How to Train My Overweight Partner

It can be a very hard experience to watch your special someone gain weight over the years. The prime matter, usually, isn’t about sex appeal or appearance (if it is a loving relationship), but it usually is all about health and the deterioration of some skills. When our partner gets heavier he or she usually become less active and have less drive doing publicly social activities.

Also, partners that gain weight might lose some of their self esteem. Low self esteem can lead to a worse sex life, which in turn may deteriorate a relationship sometimes. All in all it is important that we help our partners stay healthy and happy about their looks.

What you should not say

There is a long list of thing you should never say when trying to convince your partner to get fit. Here is a list of the most important subjects to avoid:

  1. Never accuse your partner. You should not make it look like your partner’s weight problem is some kind of sin and you the judge over him.
  2. Don’t give advice you can’t follow yourself. Don’t tell your partner not to eat things you consume before him/her daily. Also, don’t demand him or her to exercise more than you do.
  3. Don’t be blunt. Weight can be a touchy matter. Don’t bring it up too suddenly and don’t be too harsh.
  4. Never turn weight loss into a competition. If you want to lose weight together with your partner don’t make it a competition. This might injure your relationship.

You have to be very careful not to hurt your partner’s feelings. It is possible that he or she already feel bad about their weight and a nasty remark might make them feel extremely bad. You need to be helpful, concerned and loving, so you don’t come across as superficial or uncaring.

What you should say

Thankfully, with enough patience and love, there are plenty of ways to get our partners to lose weight. Here are some good pointers:

  1. Make this an “us” thing. If you make this a matter you both can participate in there are higher chances of success. Even if you are fit, you can still share a healthier, more active lifestyle with your partner.
  2. Be supportive, but not in his face. Support must be subtle and gentle. Give your partner a thumbs-up once in a while when things are going great. Be that cheerleader he or she needs.
  3. Involve everyone who cares. Having many caring people help and support your partner can be of great help.
  4. Find groups that can help you. Getting involved in fitness groups and other types of healthy lifestyle groups can turn your lives around for the better. Changing social circles can make dieting much easier.

When trying to get your partner to get fitter you first of all need to look at yourself. People rarely gain weight alone when they live with partners and family. Are you perhaps also in need of losing some weight? Do you in some way support a bad lifestyle for you both? If so, you might need to become an example.

How to get Motivation

Your life is intertwined with your partner’s. With the correct support you can both be healthier and happier. Make it very clear that it is mostly about longevity and quality of life, not some kind of aesthetics problem. Do not offer sex as a reward for losing weight. This might reduce your partner’s self-worth. Don’t be harsh when your partner fails at his weight loss. This will take months if not years to get under control.

Take things one step at a time and when you go one step back take two steps forward. Find reasons why to lose weight. Make plans and goals. Motivating your partner is always a good thing. Include more active hobbies that you want to try out. Perhaps join a dance club or a hiking group. Think about climbing the most beautiful mountains of your region or making a huge walk in a park, talking about the old days.

Have things remind you every day that you are both on a mission. Have positive reminders on your fridge, in your bedroom and the hall. Sticky notes encouraging you two to do well and reminding you of the plans you have for the future. Push diabetes and low sex drive out of the equation and enter a new, fitter life for both of you!

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